This week we had a LOT of lessons fall through, a LOT of strange unfortunate things happen, and some sickness that has definitely brought me down. It has been a challenge for us to meet with the new contacts we made the past few weeks, and unexpected twists and turns have made their progression seem almost impossible. The whole time I couldn't stop beating down on myself and wondering what I was doing wrong. We are being obedient, we are working hard, we are setting up tons of lessons during the week, we are contacting, we are working to love and uplift all the members... essentially, I thought, we have been trying to be perfect missionaries. And then I got thinking about that statement more. And I thought to myself.... what does it even mean to be perfect? Not just a missionary, but as a person in general. What is perfect? And I came to realize, partially through looking back on my mission experiences so far and also through the Spirit, that being perfect is reaching the level where you allow Heavenly Father to work through you and make you become perfect.Perfect isn't a state.. physical or mental... it is simply an action, submitting ourselves to our Heavenly Father and making the decision to allow Him to perfect us and carve us into what HE wants us to become. By doing that, you become a more perfect person, a more perfect missionary! And when I realized that... that is what I realized has been happening to my companion and I. A week of some super bad luck, plans falling through, people struggling...... yet... through ALL OF THAT...... I came to the realization that my testimony has grown the most this week than ANY other week on my mission. Through these experiences, I have learned so much and gotten the opportunity to study some really amazing things, and I have been more committed to reading the Book of Mormon than ever before. And I have never felt more in tune with the Spirit, the Gospel, or my Savior.. probably in my whole life! I have grown so much this week, even through the storms (figurative AND literal!).. and I know now that my Father is working on me. He is slowly working to improve me, to carve me into something shiny and beautiful that He knows I can become. He is perfecting me. :) I can testify to you all, that though the Lord works in mysterious ways... he DOES work. ".. I will show unto the children of men that I am able to do mine own work...... For Behold, I am God. And I am a God of miracles. And I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. And I work not among the children of men, save it be according to their faith." (2 Nephi 27: 21, 23).
Faith is the key. I have learned to never doubt God, or the way he works. I have learned to never doubt the promptings I receive. Because they will truly never lead me astray. :)
I love you all, have a great week :)